month five photos

Okay, I've been a total slacker, I know. I've been keeping myself pretty busy these days. I'm staying on top of pictures at least...

giggles

When we were at Jason's parents' place for Thanksgiving, Caleb was a little out of sorts. Not exactly the happiest camper. But one afternoon, Ali broke out one of Jason's old dolls from when he was a kid and started entertaining Caleb with it. He loved it! I was charging my camera batteries at the time, but I was able to grab them in time to catch some of his laughter. Of course, I always forget not to take vertical videos and I haven't figured out a good way of rotating them, so you'll have to turn your head sideways or something...**

**Picasa now rotates videos!!

month four photos

Well, once again it's been a while. Here are some photos from Caleb's fourth month to hold you over while I work on some more posts...

anniversary trip

The past weekend, Jason and I (and Caleb) went on a little getaway to Estes Park to celebrate our anniversary. Yes, our anniversary was almost a month ago...but we've been busy. :-)

We stayed in a little cabin by the Fall River.


It was a really cute place.


It even had a hot tub on the deck!


We just stayed for one night, but were able to fit in pretty much everything we'd wanted to do. We'd planned to go out to dinner, but decided to get food to go from a local Italian restaurant instead. We took the food back to the cabin, watched a movie, and relaxed in the hot tub with some wine and chocolate. In the morning we sipped hot cocoa by the river...


...and then headed downtown for breakfast. We spent the rest of the day in the town of Estes Park...walked around, took advantage of some of the really good end-of-season sales at the local shops, and visited the brewery (per Jason's request, of course). It was a tiring day for all of us, especially Caleb,...













...but we really enjoyed our mini vacation!

halloween

We didn't do too much in the way of celebrating Halloween this year, but I wanted to share a couple of photos of our cool jack-o-lanterns and our cute baby. :-)

pumpkin patch

A couple of Sundays ago, we went up to the Fort Collins area to visit my good friend Lindsay, her husband Justin, and their 2 1/2-year-old son Jeremiah. After a yummy lunch at Mad Greens, we headed to the pumpkin patch! When we arrived, we had a quick photo shoot by the pumpkin display. Doesn't Caleb look thrilled?


Then we took a tractor ride out to the field to pick out our pumpkins! The lighting in many of our pictures was pretty terrible, but here's one of Caleb and his daddy in the pumpkin patch anyway (yes, Caleb was sleeping).


After we'd picked out a couple of pumpkins, we rode the tractor back to our cars. Here's Jeremiah waiting for the tractor with one of the pumpkins we picked out (notice the little one he has stashed in his pocket as well).


The following Tuesday, Jason's sister Ali had a pumpkin carving party at her apartment in Denver. We brought along our pumpkins and carved away! It had been years since I'd carved a pumpkin so I had a blast. :-) Here are the final products...

froggie!

Caleb's froggie was one of the very first gifts we received for him...long before he was born. As you can (somewhat) see in this video, he loves his froggie. You can also catch some other fun things in the video like yawns, weird noises, and funny faces.

camera shy

Caleb is always doing really cute things until I think to grab the camera...and then he immediately stops. So I've wanted to share with you some of the cute things he does, but have had a very difficult time getting them on camera. Here's a video from his second month in which I was trying to catch him smiling and cooing, but had little success. You can still see a bit of him in action anyway...

month three photos

jeep! jeep!

Okay so I actually started this post in late September. Here's what I wrote then...

"Yesterday, I decided to take Caleb for a walk in his Jeep stroller. The stroller is awesome!! My girlfriends from high school chipped in to buy it for me before Caleb was born. We have another simpler umbrella stroller, but we're not supposed to use it until he is 6 months old. So we've been getting some use out of the Jeep stroller for everyday purposes even though it's a jogging stroller. When my parents were visiting, for instance, we went up to Estes Park and walked around town with Caleb in the Jeep stroller. At one point, we passed by a little kid who pointed at the stroller and said to his parents, "Look...a motorcycle!!" It is one cool stroller. :-)

Anyway...yesterday, Caleb and I took the Jeep stroller out for a walk on a dirt path near our condo. I even jogged some! Caleb fell asleep not long after we started our walk...and then woke up again before we got back home. It was a very short nap. Then he refused to go back to sleep and decided he was hungry even though it hadn't been that long since he last ate. So we still need to work on napping in the Jeep stroller, but other than that it rocks! I am excited to take advantage of the remaining warm weather and go on lots of little adventures in the Jeep stroller. We have yet to try out the music player, but I hope to do that soon (need to get some batteries first)! You can plug in a music source and the music plays through little speakers pointed toward baby. I, of course, am not up with the times and don't have an iPod to plug into the stroller so I'll have to pull out my discman instead...I am not ashamed!"

Okay, so that's what I wrote about a month ago. I have NOT done a very good job of taking Caleb on lots of little adventures in the Jeep stroller since then. To my credit though, the weather hasn't been as warm as it was. However, today it is absolutely gorgeous!! So I was all geared up to take Caleb out in the stroller. I planned on waiting until he was good and ready for a nap and then going for a nice long walk. Well, things didn't exactly go my way...

We got out of the house later than I had wanted, but we'd finally gotten out to the garage where the stroller was and gotten Caleb all strapped in. Then I put the batteries in for the music player, which I was super excited to try out. However, once that was all set up and I turned my discman on, nothing happened. I'd forgotten to bring the manual outside so I didn't know what to do. I wondered if there was an on/off switch, but I didn't know where it would be if there was. Turns out there was, and in a fairly obvious location, but in my desperation to get going with the walk so that Caleb could start his nap, I never even looked around much for it. Anyway, I gave up on that and we were about to start going when I decided to check the tires real quick. That's when I discovered that the stroller had a very flat tire! Upon examination, I found a goathead in it, which must have been acquired on the last Jeep adventure nearly a month ago. I was SO upset! I pulled out the tire pump, but couldn't figure out how it worked. Nor did I know how to remove the wheel from the stroller. As you can see, I had not done my research on the intricacies of the Jeep stroller.

In the end, I gave up on the Jeep adventure and took Caleb inside for his nap. I took the stroller inside too and proceeded to discover how simple it was to turn on the music player, use the pump, and remove the tire. I'm still not sure how to repair the tire because it doesn't seem like it has a tube to replace. I thought about leaving the goathead in and pumping the tire back up and seeing how well it would hold, but it's probably a better idea to repair or replace the tire. Oh well, at least I got some good photos out of the whole mess (you can see Caleb was fascinated by his stroller and eagerly checking it out instead of napping)...

falling in love

When Caleb was first born, I must admit he did seem like a bit of a stranger to me. Saying "I love you" just didn't seem too natural in the beginning. After all, I barely knew the little guy, right? But not so these days! I am curious how many times those words now escape my lips in just one day. This little man is precious! So adorable. So lovable. It is a neat picture of God's love for us. Caleb doesn't have to do anything to earn my love. I mean, there isn't all too much he can do at this stage, is there? But I am crazy in love with the little guy. And it seems like I fall more and more in love with him every day! Something as simple as a smile or a giggle from him can flood my heart with joy.

It is hard for me sometimes to understand how God can love me regardless of what I do or do not do...that there is nothing I can do to make Him love me any more or any less than He already does. I know that it's true, but it's hard to wrap my mind around it sometimes. It is easy to feel like we have to do things (or refrain from doing things) in order to be loved by God. I have, of course, experienced this sort of unconditional love from others in my lifetime (my husband being a prime example). But I am thankful for this additional bit of insight into the true love of God that I have received through my son.

marcia's wedding

A couple of weekends ago, we headed to the mountains for my dear friend Marcia's wedding. It was Caleb's first time staying overnight somewhere other than our place (since we got home from the hospital of course), and I wasn't sure how he'd do. But by the end of the weekend, I could gladly say that he did great. He may have slept slightly worse than usual at night, but during the days he did really well!

We went up Friday afternoon because the rehearsal dinner was that evening. We stayed in a cabin at Snow Mountain Ranch (where the wedding was to be held) that night. The wedding was on Saturday and I was a bridesmaid, so I spent most of the day until the wedding getting ready with the girls. In the meantime, Caleb went on his first hike with his daddy. When it was time for the wedding, Caleb came along to the ceremony and reception. We'd even gotten him a special outfit for the festivities! He did really well and everyone commented on how happy a baby he is. Here are some pictures from the weekend...

family - part three

And last, but certainly not least...my parents! They made the trek out here to Colorado in September and got to spend almost a full week with us. As Jason's mom had noted before their arrival, it ended up being a great time for their visit because Caleb had begun cooing and smiling and just being generally more responsive. Caleb had a great time with his MorMor (Swedish for mother's mother) and MorFar (Swedish for father's father). He discovered early on that MorFar has a really comfy shoulder...

And that MorMor was a lot of fun...


Although my mom and I had both come down with colds just before my parents arrived in Colorado, we were still able to do a lot of fun stuff while they were here. One of the best days was when we went up to Estes Park. We took the scenic route to get there...


During our visit to Estes Park, we visited a local glass shop where we got to watch a glass blower in action. Caleb had fun exploring all of the brightly colored glass in the shop with his dad...


Although they were here for six days, the time seemed to fly by (as it usually does when you don't want it to). It was sad when we had to say goodbye, but we are looking forward to seeing them again in December!

family - part two

In early August, my sister (Carrie), brother-in-law (Mark), and nephew (Nathaniel) made a trip out to Colorado to meet Caleb (and visit Jason and I). It was a short, but very sweet trip. Since Caleb was born, I had spent a good deal of time on the phone with my sister, but it was so wonderful to get to see her. And it was so fun that Caleb got to meet his big cousin...


Nathaniel was adorable. During their visit we would often hear him saying, "baby, baby!". Early on in the trip Nathaniel wanted to hold Caleb, so my sister had him sit down on the floor beside the couch, put a pillow on his lap, and set Caleb on the pillow. Nathaniel didn't quite seem to know what to do at first, but he warmed up to it after a bit. In fact, after that first time, he would sit down, put the pillow on his lap and pat it while saying, "baby! baby!"...so he ended up "holding" Caleb several times.


On the Saturday that they were here, we headed downtown, hung out by the creek, ate lunch at the Farmer's Market, got some coffee at a local coffee shop, and watched Nathaniel play in the fountain on Pearl Street...


And in their usual generous fashion, Carrie and Mark didn't leave without treating us to several meals and stocking our fridge and closets with food and other supplies from Costco. :-)

Being the short trip that it was, my thoughts quickly began to turn to future reunions. While they were here, my sister asked me what our plans were for the holidays. I wasn't sure we'd be venturing out of Colorado this year, but after their visit it made me sad to think that we didn't know when we'd see them again. So we've since made plans to go to North Carolina to spend Christmas with my parents and we hope to see my sister and her family then too!

family - part one

So for a while now, I've been wanting to write a post about our wonderful (extended) family. There is much to tell. Especially since it has taken me so long to actually write this. But I'll try not to go into too much detail...

So, as you may know, Jason's family (parents and sister) lives in Colorado. My parents and sister live in North Carolina and Georgia, respectively. So when Caleb came along, Jason's family members were the lucky ones who got to meet him first. Caleb's arrival deemed Jason's parents grandparents and his sister an aunt for the very first time. I guess you could say they were a little excited. If you read my birth story, you already know that Ali (Jason's sis) was present for a good portion of my labor. And she and her parents were waiting patiently at the hospital after he was born to come meet him. They then stayed at our place that night and came to the hospital again the next day to visit. Little did we know until we arrived home a few days later that during their brief stay in our condo, they also cleaned the whole place!! It was AMAZING to come home to...especially as exhausted as we were from those days in the hospital. Such a blessing.

But that's only the beginning, really. Jason's parents have been such an amazing support in these first few months....coming to watch Caleb so that Jason and I can have some time to ourselves every now and then, and always being willing to help out in any way that they can. And, of course, loving our little guy like crazy! Here are some pics of them with their grandson....


And then there's Caleb's tia (spanish for aunt). While looking for a job, she spent about one weekday a week in Boulder hanging out with her nephew and allowing me time to get things done. Now that she has a job I don't have that luxury, but it was very nice while it lasted! She, too, loves Caleb like crazy, and she has been such a good aunt to him! Here are some pictures of the two of them:


Recently, Ali has begun reading to Caleb, which can keep him entertained for quite a while! That brings me to one of my favorite pictures of Caleb with his tia...

our little houdini

Since day one in the hospital, Caleb has enjoyed being swaddled. In the hospital, they had these nice big blankets that they (and subsequently we) would swaddle him in. Before we left the hospital, we watched a video that talked about how swaddling was a key step in calming a crying baby because it reminds newborns of being in the womb.

Anyway, by the time we headed home, we were swaddling masters. Then we got home and realized that all of the receiving blankets we had were much smaller than the blankets at the hospital. Caleb had already demonstrated his squirming abilities and we knew there was no way those little blankets would hold him in. But have no fear...his SwaddleMe came to the rescue. This fascinating little blanket is made just for swaddling and has velcro tabs to secure the swaddle. We'd gotten one as a shower gift. I didn't know if we'd be able to use it in the beginning because the one we got was made with a microfleece fabric and seemed like it would be too warm. But we knew we weren't going to survive without being able to swaddle the little guy, so I pulled out the SwaddleMe and we gave it a shot. It was a life saver!

For a while after Caleb was born, if he was starting to fuss, we'd just swaddle him and lay him on his side and BAM...happy baby. I don't know what we would have done without it! After a bit I decided that we needed to buy another one because it was so hard to wash the one we had since we were using it all the time. Caleb was always swaddled when he slept and he slept quite a bit! So I went to Babies R Us to get another SwaddleMe. I opted for a lighter weight one for the remaining warm months. When I got it home and took it out, I noticed that it had a slit in the back. Apparently, this swaddle was designed to be used in a car seat! You could strap him into the car seat and still swaddle him! Someone was saying recently how it amazing how much baby stuff is out there...you think of something that would be useful and then you go to the baby store and there it is! But this? This was a dream come true. I know I'm being a little dramatic, but you have to understand how much Caleb hated his car seat in the beginning. He would scream at the top of his lungs the entire time he was in it...so much, in fact, that his screaming would preclude breathing at times. He'd already gotten somewhat used to the car seat before we'd found the swaddle, but it still seems to work wonders. I think he stays asleep much better in his car seat when he's swaddled, which comes in handy.

Okay, I've now written a rather long post about swaddling and haven't even gotten to my original intended point. You see, as I mentioned earlier, Caleb can be quite the squirmer. He has gotten pretty good at working his little hands out of the swaddle during naps...


But the other morning, Jason went in to say goodbye to him before he left for work and this little guy had squirmed his way halfway out of the thing! He was just lying there looking at us as if to say, "What?" It was pretty cute...

month two photos

time to wake up! (kendra)

One of my favorite things that Caleb does (although the list has grown considerably since this one was added), is stretch when he wakes up. Jason took a video to try to capture the cuteness. Caleb wasn't super cooperative (he doesn't like to show off for the camera), and Jason had some trouble unswaddling him one-handed, but here's a bit of the Caleb stretch for you at least. :-)

growing fast (kendra)

For a while it was difficult for me to tell that Caleb was getting bigger. I was around him too often to notice the changes. But when people saw him after not having seen him in a week or so, they would say how much bigger he'd gotten. So I just took their word for it. :-)

In the past week, however, that has begun to change. The other day I put on the first outfit that we put on him in the hospital. I hadn't put it on him in a while because he was swimming in it that first time, so I figured he needed a little time to grow into it. But when I put it on the other day, I could barely get it over his head! Then I was holding him on my lap and realizing how much more room he was taking up there these days. I looked at him in his bassinet and noticed that he took up more room in there as well! So on the night of his six-week birthday, we decided it was time he graduate to the crib...


I'd noticed a while back that one of Caleb's little outfits had the same pattern as his crib sheet. So of course I had to dress him in the outfit, put him in the crib, and take pictures. :-) And when I put that outfit on, I realized that it too had gotten small on him!

Here's a photo of the camo baby...


And here's him in the same outfit the day we took him home from the hospital...


A noticeable difference, wouldn't you say?

month one photos

Here are some photos of Caleb's first few weeks of life...

our birth story (kendra)

So for those of you interested in more details about Caleb's trip from womb to world, read on. For those of you who aren't, feel free to skip this post. It actually ended up being quite long and I think I was writing it primarily for my own sake, but I'm happy to share if you're curious. :-)

The story begins on July 15th. Jason was at the office late getting ready for his big meeting the next day. He'd been preparing for this meeting for...oh...over a month probably. It was scheduled to last the entire day on the 16th and all morning on the 17th. Jason was scheduled to present for a good chunk of that time. His boss had made it clear that the 16th was the one day that we should not have our baby. Anyway, the night of the 15th, I brought some Thai food to Jason's office because it was getting late and neither of us had eaten dinner. And, ironically enough, before we left his office that night, my labor had begun.

I wasn't so sure at first that it was "true" labor, but as the night continued, I became more and more convinced. My contractions were about 10 minutes apart through the night. I was up trying to time them and figure out whether I was really in labor. I went and hung out on the couch so that Jason could get some rest and I did my best to rest in between contractions myself, but that wasn't the easiest task. After a long, restless night during which Jason slept like a rock, I decided it was late enough to wake Jason up and tell him that I was pretty sure I was in labor. Jason's sister, Ali, and I had been planning on hanging out that morning...so I told Jason that it would be okay with me if he went into his meeting for a little while as long as Ali would come over and hang out with me in the meantime. So Jason left for work, and Ali arrived shortly after. In an attempt to keep my mind off of the contractions, Ali and I decided to play Scrabble for a while. After making a couple of phone calls to my family, I tried to eat something, but couldn't really stomach food and started feeling rather nauseous after one bite. Nausea is not something I deal well with so after feeling like I was going to throw up, I decided to text Jason. He left his meeting to call me, and I told him I was ready for him to come home. When he went back into his meeting, before he told them what I had said, Jason's coworkers told him they thought he should go home. I was glad they were so understanding even though the timing worked out so poorly.

So Jason came home and hung out with Ali and I for a while. When my contractions started getting more intense (and I started getting more nervous), we called the midwife and told her we wanted to meet her at the clinic to see how far along I was. The three of us (Jason, Ali, and I) headed to the clinic and at around 2pm, our midwife checked me and found that I was 5 cm dilated and 100% effaced. She said that I was welcome to either go home and wait until my contractions were more regular or check into the hospital then. After some debate, I decided to go ahead and get checked in since we were already at the hospital and the thought of going back home wasn't too appealing. So we headed to the labor and delivery unit and checked in. After they took care of a few routine checks, we walked out to the car to get our stuff. We had come prepared with a bag of clothes, toiletries, etc. as well as a bag full of "labor tools." Little did we know, we would later laugh at how we ended up using next to none of the things in that bag of goodies.

By the time we got back to the room, my contractions had gotten pretty intense. That was the last time I'd be leaving that room for a while. I labored in the jacuzzi tub for what seemed like a long time. Of course, once in was in the throes of the labor, everything became a bit fuzzy. But it felt like I was in there a long time at least. Jason was right by my side the whole time (not in the tub, but right beside it). He helped me through every contraction, although in the end we used very few of the pain management techniques we'd learned about in our class. I wasn't interested in switching to a different breathing pattern, but instead stuck with the same one the entire time. I wasn't thinking much about massage tools and the like. All I could think about was surviving the labor. Jason did set up his computer in the bathroom and put on the playlist I had created to listen to during labor, which I did pay some attention to at times.

I'd heard that no matter how modest a woman is before she goes into labor, all modesty goes right out the window during labor. I was under the impression that there was some sort of conscious switch from being modest to not caring at all...a decision that the laboring woman made that it really didn't matter too much to her. But really it's just that you are so caught up in what your body is going through that the thought of modesty doesn't even cross your mind. It's just a non-issue. At least that's the way it was for me.

Anyway, I labored in the tub for a while. A nurse came in to start an IV for me "just in case." My veins, not being very agreeable to such a task, were stubborn as usual. Two nurses, one anesthesiologist, and about 10 needle stabs later, one of my veins finally surrendered and the IV was set up. Fortunately, I did actually end up needing it later so it wasn't a worthless battle. I was still in the tub when we decided to call the midwife and have her join us. I knew that I only wanted Jason, our midwife, and a nurse in the room with me for the delivery. So Ali, who had come with us to the hospital and hung out in the room for a while, graciously took her leave when my screams started to freak her out a little too much.

Like I said, everything was sort of a blur...and the memory of it is even more so. But at some point, our midwife suggested I get out of the tub just to try something new. I remember laboring on the toilet for some time and getting a foot massage from our midwife. And then I remember being back in the birthing room and our midwife asking me if I was feeling the urge to push. I wasn't, to my knowledge. I was definitely feeling the urge to be done with the whole ordeal, but no particular urge to push. I told her I wasn't sure what that would feel like really, and she said I would know. But at some point, she said I could go ahead and try pushing even though I wasn't feeling a strong urge because my body seemed ready to go. So I began to push. At first it was a relief to be able to do something in response to the contractions instead of just trying to relax through them. But after a short while, I was far from feeling relieved. All I was feeling was extremely uncomfortable and ready to be done with it all. In fact, I had told Jason several times by that point that I didn't want to (or simply could not) keep going. It wasn't that I wanted drugs...it was just that I wanted so badly to be done with it all. I didn't feel like I could take it any longer. I didn't have any energy or will power left.

But I guess there was something left in me because after about an hour of pushing, Caleb made his way out into the world. Jason, who had wondered in advance if he would pass out during the delivery, actually helped deliver him, placed him on my chest, and cut the cord when it was time. I'd heard it said that the moment the baby is placed on your chest, you feel like it had all been worth it. That wasn't exactly the way I felt at the time, and I wondered if that was a bad thing. Instead, I had an overwhelming feeling of relief that it was all over...and disbelief that I had actually survived the whole experience. But I had. And there on my chest was our beautiful, precious baby boy. For days, Jason and I were in disbelief that Caleb had actually been inside of me...and was now outside of me. Birth is a pretty incredible thing.

Although it had been very difficult for me, I was so grateful that things had gone as smoothly as they had. I had done it just as I had hoped...no complications and no drugs. Our little guy was finally here...and ready or not, we were embarking on a new journey with all of its own joys and challenges.

it's a boy! (kendra)

On July 16th, Caleb Jonathan Fraze entered the world. He was 7 lbs, 3 oz at birth and stretched out to 19 inches.


I was in labor for a total of about 24 hours, but I was only in the hospital for six of them. Everything went smoothly (and painfully), and we were able to have the drug-free birth we'd hoped for. It was intense, and I was extremely relieved when it was over!

We had some difficulty with breastfeeding in the beginning, and Caleb lost more weight than is normal...so we ended up staying an extra day in the hospital until the breastfeeding was going a little better. But on Saturday (the 19th), we left the hospital and arrived home with our new baby boy!


It was definitely strange at first. We weren't exactly sure what to do with the little guy. The past six weeks have been a learning process, but thankfully the three of us have come a long way in that time! We're getting the hang of things. At least it feels that way some of the time...other times it feels like we've gone back to square one! But I gather that's all pretty normal...

long time no post (kendra)

I know, I know...it's been a while. In fact, Caleb is one month old today! Which means I have some catching up to do. I'll work on that. Believe it or not, the little guy keeps me pretty busy. But it is my intention to write on here more whenever I start finding some time to do so. Hopefully I'll be back soon!

new car for baby! (kendra)

As some of you know, we have been car shopping for a while in hopes of finding a bigger and safer car for baby (and all of baby's stuff). Last Friday, we signed the paperwork and drove home in our new Nissan Rogue! It's slightly used, but in great condition and we like it a lot! It's a "crossover"...basically a small SUV. It definitely meets our requirements of being both bigger and safer than our little Hyundai Accent and still gets good gas mileage! Here are some pics so you can check it out for yourselves!

lightening (kendra)

I am amazed at how observant people can be. Last week on Tuesday morning, I was at work and the woman who sits next to me asked me if my baby had dropped. The question took me a bit by surprise and my immediate response was, "No. I don't think so," or something along those lines. She said that it looked to her like my belly was lower. I hadn't noticed any major changes myself, but after our short conversation I began to ponder the possibility that she was right. And the more I thought about it, the more convinced I became that baby had dropped after all. Throughout the day I noticed differences in the way I felt. Baby's movements felt different. I no longer felt his or her butt sticking into my ribs and what I did feel seemed lower. I didn't notice a huge difference in my lung capacity, but I did eat a pretty big dinner that evening without getting stuffed. Before going to bed that night, I read the bit in What to Expect When You're Expecting about what it's like when baby drops and it seemed to match a lot of what I'd noticed. To me, my belly didn't seem to look a whole lot lower, but if it was different enough for my co-worker to notice, it must have lowered!

I also read that in a first pregnancy, the baby generally drops two to four weeks before delivery. Of course, as with just about everything in pregnancy, that is not set in stone. And I already knew that I was only a little over a month away from my due date. But to think about baby coming in two to four weeks really freaked me out! Of course, just the night before I'd had a little breakdown because I was feeling so overwhelmed by all there still to do in preparation for labor and delivery and baby's arrival! I'd had a productive evening that next night and was feeling better. But then I read two to four weeks and that set my mind racing! Needless to say, it took a long time for me to fall asleep that night.

Two days later at work, a woman who I'd seen in passing around the building but had never even talked to asked me when I was due and said that she could tell my baby had dropped! And the following day, another woman who I'd just noticed here and there at work told me that she noticed that my baby had dropped this week. I was so amazed at how observant these women are. Even Jason could barely notice the difference by looking at my belly! I don't know, maybe once you've been pregnant you pay more attention to these things. But I found it impressive.

We had an appointment with the midwife last Friday and she confirmed that my belly looked low and that baby's head is engaged in my pelvis. He or she is already getting ready to meet us! I'm feeling pretty good so I'm still hoping baby will hold out a few more weeks. But we're working on getting ready as soon as possible just in case. It's so crazy to be this close! Our due date is exactly four weeks from today! Here's a new belly shot so you can see if you notice a difference...

parker baby shower (kendra)

Two Saturdays ago, we had another baby shower! Jason's parents hosted a little shower for us at their home in Parker, CO. It was another gorgeous day, and we had a great time catching up with some family and friends. Jason's grandparents were even in town for it! I've included a slideshow of photos below. Check out the sweet cakes that Betsy made for us...they were delicious!!

amazed (kendra)

We went in to the doctor's office last week for a regular appointment and after I left, I found myself pondering how amazingly God has designed our bodies. This whole pregnancy thing really is incredible. At the appointment, the midwife did all the usual checks and then said that my weight gain was right on track, my uterus was measuring perfectly, baby's heartbeat sounded great, etc. And as I drove home I was just awestruck at how well my body knows what it's doing. My body is very much able to grow a baby...with relatively little assistance from me.

I mean, it just seems that in order for my weight gain to be right on track, for example, I would need to be paying close attention to it and being careful to eat just the right amount. But not so. Granted, I do eat a relatively healthy diet. But I still don't feel like I've quite mastered eating the right amounts of food as frequently as I should. And yet, my weight gain is right on track. And then there's the fact that most people who have commented on the size of my belly have said how small I am for how far along I am in my pregnancy. And yet, my uterus is measuring perfectly. Which, of course, I've done absolutely nothing to control.

So anyway, it's all quite amazing...not only what my body is doing, but the fact that there is an actual baby growing inside of me! A baby that likes to stick his or her little butt in my ribs, but a baby all the same! :-)

baby bump - 33 weeks (kendra)

Here's that pic I promised...

due date (kendra)

So, I've decided that since people keep asking to be reminded of when baby is scheduled to arrive, I'd put it up on the blog again for all to see. :-) The due date is July 23rd. At this point, I'd be happy if baby showed up right on that date (there is still much to do before then)...but as it gets closer I might very well change my mind. No matter what, I'm hoping he or she doesn't decide to stay in much PAST that date!

It wasn't until recently that I first understood why most pregnant women get really anxious to be done being pregnant as the due date approaches. It is starting to get a little old. Breathing doesn't come as easily and those cute little baby kicks can sometimes be more uncomfortable than cute these days! But I am thankful to be able to say that I don't have too many discomforts at this point. I am still sleeping pretty well and don't have too many aches and pains. So that is all very nice. The belly definitely seems to be growing so I'll have to post another belly shot soon!

baby shower! (kendra)

A couple of Saturdays ago, some of our friends had a baby shower for us. It was lots of fun! It was a couples shower so boys were allowed. :-) We had it outdoors and the weather was perfect. The sun was shining, and the temperature was just right. We had a little bbq, opened gifts from our thoughtful and generous friends, ate some delicious homemade cake, threw around softballs and baseballs and footballs, and just enjoyed the nice day. It was great! Much thanks to the lovely ladies who put it all together (namely Marcia, April, and Lesley). You girls are the best!

Our nice shady spot for opening our gifts didn't turn out to be the best choice for photos, unfortunately. But here are a few anyway! You might notice Jason's cool shirt. It was actually passed down to him from his dad. He got it when Jason's mom was pregnant with Jason!

working girl (kendra)

Yesterday marked the end of my first project at Measured Progress. Which is why I am finally blogging again. :-) We were actually scheduled to finish tomorrow, but we got done a bit early. I am rather grateful for that because I was originally supposed to have all of next week off before starting my next project, but that has changed. They asked me to be a senior reader on the next project that I'm doing, which means that I'll be overseeing a small group of readers (and getting paid a little bit more!). It also means that I have to train starting Tuesday instead of having all of next week off. So I'm thankful for these extra couple of days to get caught up on things.

It's amazing how much less time there is to get all of the little things done when you're working full time! Okay I guess it's not really that surprising, but still...it's been an adjustment for me. It's been difficult because I can be pretty exhausted at the end of a day at work so I don't feel like I have the energy OR the time to get other things done. But that has definitely gotten better as I've adjusted to getting up early and working all day. And Jason has been a big help as usual...although I think he prefers it when I'm not working and can cook him dinner most nights, do all the dishes every day, etc. :-)

The project that I was on at work was a good one. I was scoring 4th grade writing and although I scored responses to the same prompt for nearly the entire month of May, the prompt was broad so there was a fair amount of variety in the responses. Especially given that they were written by 4th graders. Some of them were pretty amusing. The prompt being what it was, the kids were writing a lot about traditions they have...what they do for certain holidays, where they go on family vacations, etc. Reading all of them got me thinking about what traditions our little family is going to have. It got me excited about the prospect of developing our own traditions for holidays and vacations. One in particular that I began thinking about is visiting my parents in North Carolina with my sister and her family...having picnics at the lake house...the cousins playing together...having fun in the sun at the beach...you get the idea. It will be so much fun!

good news! (kendra)

So work is keeping me busy and I have had much less time on my hands for things like blogging. I don't know how many of you have even noticed my absence, but I do have some things to update you on. Most importantly, we went in for a follow-up ultrasound last Thursday to get an update on the cyst and found out that it had decreased in size! It is now small enough that it isn't as much of a concern as it had been. At the current size, surgery isn't usually recommended because there isn't as much of a chance that it could cause problems. So we were very happy to receive that news!

We are hoping that it will continue to go down in size and resolve itself without the need for surgery down the line either. I am also hoping that it won't interfere with the birth at all...they keep telling us that it shouldn't, but somehow I'm having a hard time believing that. Maybe the truth is that the pain I might feel from the cyst would pale in comparison to the pain of childbirth anyway. :-) In any case, it is very good to hear that the cyst hasn't gotten bigger. And even better to hear that it is headed in the other direction! We would still appreciate prayers from those of you who have been praying...that it would continue to decrease in size until it is completely gone!

belly shot (kendra)

I'm in my third trimester now...hard to believe! There have been requests for an updated belly shot, so here you go:


I have been getting a fair amount of comments lately about how small I am. My belly still feels pretty big to me though! The shirt in the pic doesn't show it off quite as well as a bathing suit, perhaps. ;-) My midwife says I'm growing perfectly so I figure I'm just fortunate to not be too big yet. I have noticed that it is becoming more difficult to bend over and reach things on the floor (like my feet). And I haven't had too many aches and pains so far in my pregnancy, but recently that seems to be starting to change. My back has been feeling a bit achy at the ends of the days and my hips are bothering me a bit during the nights. Not too bad yet fortunately!

times they are a changin' (kendra)

Life has suddenly become a lot busier in the past week or so. Last weekend was our babymoon. We went to Steamboat Springs, stayed at the Steamboat Grand Resort Hotel, and had a few days of fun and relaxation.


It went by quickly, of course...but we had a great time. We got back Tuesday night, and I spent the day Wednesday trying to get some last-minute things done before starting my new job on Thursday! I have started a temp job that involves scoring the written portions of standardized exams. I know, sounds like a blast. But it hasn't been bad so far. My current project is scoring 4th grade writing. I'll be scoring responses to the same writing prompt for the entire month of May...but it's a pretty broad prompt so there is a lot of variety in the responses. And some of them are quite amusing. :-)

Anyway, working 8-4 five days a week is certainly a change from life as I've known it for the past few months. It's definitely a good change in some ways...it feels good to have a routine again and to be keeping busy, and it's nice to have some extra money coming our way. But already it feels like there's so much less time to do the everyday things I had time to do before. At least we'll be sticking around more on the weekends for the next couple of months so hopefully we'll be able to get things done then. It definitely feels like there's still lots to do in preparation for baby's arrival!

When I got done with my first day at the new job, I felt completely exhausted. I also hadn't gotten to bed as early as I'd wanted to though. The next day I'd gotten more sleep and wasn't quite as exhausted at the end of the day. Hopefully, I'll be able to adjust quickly and working won't take too much of a toll on my pregnant body. :-)

"where we gonna go from here?" (kendra)

So what have we decided to do? Well first, let me say that there is one more very important thing that I have to be thankful for. The support of our family, friends, and even of strangers has been such a blessing. Thank you all for the emails, the phone calls, the thoughts, the prayers. We have been strengthened as you have come alongside us with your loving support.

We have decided on the "wait and see" option. The very next day after leaving the hospital "happened" to be the 17th of the month. On the 17th of each month at the 17th hour, our church has a healing prayer meeting. Jason and I had decided to go, and his mom, who had come up to keep me company that afternoon, decided to join us. We told everyone there our story (well at least Jason did while I cried) and then the three of us were surrounded by members of our spiritual family, who prayed for us. They prayed for healing. They prayed for wisdom. They prayed for peace and strength and guidance and faith. And we placed all of it in God's hands. We left there feeling refreshed and hopeful. We hadn't made any definite decisions yet, but I knew something had changed in that time.

The pain has, for the most part, gone away. There are still hints of it here and there, but it is nowhere near what it had been. We did decide to cancel our trip to Mexico this weekend. The risk involved with waiting and seeing is that I could end up needing emergency surgery if things took a turn for the worse. Emergency surgery in Mexico just doesn't sound like a good idea. We are still going to get away for the weekend for our "babymoon"...thanks to the generosity of Jason's parents. We are just going to head to the cool Colorado mountains instead of the beaches of Mexico.

silver linings (kendra)

Hard to believe it's been almost a week since Jason wisked me away to the hospital. Yet at the same time, it feels like ages ago...or like it didn't really happen at all. The memory of it seems somewhat like a dream. Maybe that's the morphine's fault.

For those of you who haven't heard the story, last Tuesday night just before bedtime I started having a good deal of lower abdominal pain. Jason called our midwife and explained what I was feeling, and she told us that we should go to the hospital...straight to the labor and delivery unit. We did, and a long night of tests and pain and needles and drugs ensued. Jason was super supportive. He stayed up with me, cared for me, comforted me when I threw up for the first time in 7 years or so. It was not a fun night. Painful and scary. But we found out pretty early on that baby was doing just fine. And that was some of the best news we could hear.

They aren't exactly certain what the cause of the pain was. But in the process of investigating, they did find a cyst on my left ovary. At first, they weren't too concerned about that. Smaller, "simple" cysts are actually quite common and can often resolve themselves with no intervention. The plan was to send me home with some ibuprofen and see if the pain subsided over the next day or two. They seemed rather certain that it would.

As we waited to see the midwife one more time before being discharged, we talked about what we might do that evening. But then we continued to wait. And wait. When she finally did come, she told us that the story had changed a bit. Turns out the cyst was larger than they'd originally thought, and that made it more of an issue. Larger cysts are more likely to cause problems than smaller ones. The ob/gyn that our midwife had been consulting with was going to come talk to us about it. So we waited some more.

Soon it became apparent that we weren't going to be doing anything later that evening except hanging out at the hospital. The ob/gyn was rather busy and at one point she was about to come talk to us, but had to deliver a baby next door instead. Finally, she did make it in. She gave us the full story and answered all of our questions. Surgery was an option, but somewhat of a complicated one due to the fact that I'm pregnant. The other option was to wait and see if the pain subsided and check the cyst again in a few weeks to look for any changes in size. There were risks associated with both options. She told us that we were welcome to go home and take some time to think about it. And that is what we did.

We got home between 10 and 10:30pm. We went straight to bed and both slept like rocks that night. We'd gotten some sleep during the day after having been awake most of the night...but we were obviously still exhausted from it all.

Needless to say, it was quite the experience. I'd never spent the night in the hospital before. I'd never had an IV. I'd probably never been in that much pain. But through it all, I had many things to be thankful for. First and foremost, my amazing husband. I don't know how I would have done it without him. I am thankful that baby is doing just fine. In fact, I think baby was pretty oblivious to it all...just kicking away like normal...even the next day when my belly was sore and those little kicks hurt! :-) I am thankful for the timing of it all. If it had to happen, the timing was pretty darn good. It happened when I was home with Jason. I wasn't in FL like I had been 3 nights before. We weren't in Mexico like we would have been a week and a half later. I wasn't even out running errands like I had been earlier that day. I was at home, 5 minutes from the hospital. And Jason was with me. It is true that God does not allow us to face more than we are able to handle. He is faithful to give us what we need to endure. And for that, I am thankful.

baby dance (jason)

This morning after we woke up, I placed my hand on Kendra's stomach to see if baby was doing anything. He/she wasn't doing much at first, but after poking and prodding for a little bit, baby was up and kicking like crazy! I've never felt baby move so much! It was like baby was doing a dance on my hand. I think baby likes the attention from me when I poke him/her and they push back on me. A couple times baby didn't just push back at me, but moved their little foot across my hand as well. That was REALLY cool! Babies are so amazing. We are bonding already.

baby's first shower (kendra)

This past weekend, I headed to Delray Beach, FL for the first annual BHS girls weekend. That is, I met up with 4 of my good friends from high school f0r a weekend of fun in the sun. We all came from different places: Massachusetts, Connecticut, Pennsylvania, Washington, D.C. and Colorado. It was really great to have some time for the 5 of us to get together and catch up...we don't get to see each other nearly as often as we used to! I am the first one to be pregnant so I got to answer all their questions about what it's like to be pregnant and about baby Fraze. Sucharita and Sayward even got to feel baby kick!

On Friday night, we were getting ready to head out for a delicious dinner at a Thai restaurant in downtown Delray Beach. It was about time to go (at least I thought it was), but when I walked out of the bathroom the 4 of them were sitting at the dining room table with a little pile of gifts in the middle of it! I was definitely surprised (not the easiest task to accomplish, for the record) and so thankful for their thoughtfulness. I opened the gifts, which included adorable outfits, a little froggie rattle, a couple of books, and a promise for socks knit just for baby by one of my friends! And as if that wasn't enough, they also told me that they'd chipped in for a gift off of our registry and arranged with Jason to have it picked up! When I got home, I found out that they had gotten us the Jeep jogging stroller that I had put on the registry so I could get back in shape after baby is born!

I am so thankful to have such sweet, thoughtful friends. I can't wait to dress baby in his/her adorable new clothes! And I can't wait for the first time that my friends get to meet baby. They are going to be the best aunties ever!

baby check-up (kendra)

Yesterday we had another appointment with our midwife. She said that everything looks like it's going along perfectly. My weight and belly measurements are right on track and baby's heartbeat is nice and strong. Our next appointment is in a month and then we start going every 2 weeks! I can't believe I'm so close to the point when appointments become more frequent. Baby will be here before we know it!

belly!

Okay, I couldn't resist after my last post...here's me in a bathing suit. :-)

baby bump (kendra)

I was just looking at these drawings of what a pregnant woman might look like at 8 months:

http://www.babyzone.com/pregnancy/belly_8months.asp

I'm not there yet, but I would say my belly is looking most like the one on the right...it really sticks out! My chiropractor was even commenting about that yesterday. It's amazing to me how different people's opinions are about my belly...and somewhat amusing that people would have an opinion about my belly at all. :-) Not long ago I still had people telling me that I didn't even look pregnant! On the other hand, I have gotten to the point where people aren't afraid to come out and ask me when I'm due...in other words, it's obvious enough to them that I am indeed pregnant that they're willing to risk the embarrassment of the alternative. I'll admit that it definitely depends on what I'm wearing...some clothes make my belly more obvious than others. But anyone who sees me in a bathing suit better believe that I am pregnant! :-)

It's about time for an updated belly photo, so I'll probably be posting one on here soon so that you can see for yourselves!

I'm Gonna Be a Daddy! (Cross post from Just Visiting)

So I'm gonna be a daddy! We got pregnant in October and we are due around July 23rd. It's pretty crazy to think that I'm going to be in charge of another life! I'm going to be in charge of nurturing, protecting, and teaching another person. I will have a major influence on this person's life. I can influence their self esteem and identity and purpose. I will even influence what their likes and dislikes are such as what their favorite sport is and where they like to vacation. I will also affect their beliefs about life. I pray that God will help me to make all the right decisions and be the best father that I can be.

I am very excited about all of this as well! I'm looking forward to pouring out my love on this new person. I think I will enjoy protecting and caring for them. I want to share everything that I have learned in life with this person so that they can do even better in life than I have. I also can't wait to share good times with them doing various activities such as biking, backpacking, traveling, playing sports, etc. I also feel that it will be a privilege to introduce my child to my God.

I can't wait to meet this new person!

ultrasound (kendra)

The ultrasound was really cool too. It was amazing to actually watch baby moving around inside there! We’d decided not to find out the sex, which does make it a little difficult to choose a pronoun with which to refer to baby. But it will make it so much fun when baby comes out and we get to hear “It’s a boy!” or “It’s a girl!” Besides, I’d rather go with the neutral colors as we prepare for baby’s arrival. Yellow, green, cream…much nicer than having an entirely pink or blue wardrobe as far as I’m concerned. And the practical planner in me figures that this way we can reuse most of what we get this time around next time around.

baby kicks (kendra)

One of the neatest things about pregnancy so far has been feeling baby move around inside of me. It has taken quite a while to warm up to the idea that there is a human being growing inside my belly…in fact, it’s still crazy to me most of the time. I really wonder how God comes up with these things.

The first time that Jason was able to feel baby kick was really special too. The other day I read that at this stage, baby likes the attention when mom and dad are trying to feel him kick. That night after dinner, I was reading one of my pregnancy books out loud to Jason on the couch. He had his hand on my belly and before long, he was “playing” with baby…feeling baby move around and poking at my belly to get her to respond…and paying absolutely no attention to what I was reading to him. :-)

my husband

I am in love with my husband. I love that he makes me laugh…and that I make him laugh too. I am amazed by his humility and his servant heart. I love that he accepts and loves me even in my brokenness. I love that I can just be me around him without thinking twice. And that he loves even the goofiest sides of me. I love that I feel the safest I’ve ever felt when I am in his arms. And that I can trust and respect him without hesitation. I love that he takes such good care of me. He provides for me. He challenges me to aspire to new heights in all aspects of my life…but doesn’t pressure me to be who I’m not or do things I’m not up for doing. He is talented, he is dedicated, he is smart, and he is hot. :-) He has such a heart for God…to know Him and to make Him known. He has such a desire to be the best husband he can be for me…and he is. I am so excited to see him embrace his new role as father. I know he will be such an amazing dad to our baby.

sleep (kendra)

I have definitely had my share of sleep during this pregnancy. Being unemployed, I don’t often have reasons to be jumping out of bed first thing in the morning. So there was definitely a period when I would sleep until 9, 9:30, 10, and even later. Jason likes to make fun of me for it, but I know he’s just jealous. ;-) And I’ve been better lately. I was beginning to feel like I was wasting a good chunk of my day by sleeping so late. And though I was probably needing the sleep for a while, at times it seemed like it was interfering with my ability to sleep soundly throughout the night. So lately I’ve been getting up earlier and sleeping better during the night. But if I’m feeling too tired to get out of bed before Jason leaves from work, I don’t. As long as I don’t have anywhere to be. My sister says that I should enjoy the sleep while I can. And I know that’s true. It will be much harder to come by soon!

morning sickness (kendra)

Morning sickness, as most people seem to know these days, is a bit of a misnomer. It can hit you at any time during the day...or last the entire day for that matter. Personally, I hardly ever felt sick first thing in the morning. It was the afternoons and evenings that got me. And it was pretty miserable. I am thankful to be able to speak in the past tense about it! I never even threw up…nope, the last time I threw up was probably over 6 years ago. Not a big pastime for me, fortunately. But I definitely was nauseous. Nauseous enough that at times I had to rack my brain for extended periods of time in order to come up with some food that I could stand to eat. Nauseous enough that I could not understand how anyone in their right mind could say that they ENJOY being pregnant. Up to that point, I was not a fan. But sure enough, I fell into the category that the majority of pregnant women do, and my nausea began to subside as I transitioned into my 2^nd trimester.

my stint as a high school teacher (kendra)

When I found out that I was pregnant, I was nearing the end of a 3-month job as a long-term sub for a high school chemistry teacher who was on maternity leave (yes, a little ironic). The job was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done…for the most part, if I wasn’t sleeping, I was working. Thankfully, my amazing husband supported me through it all and pick up the slack around the house. If it weren’t for him, I probably wouldn’t have eaten much during that job. As it was, I certainly wasn’t eating enough for two and knew that needed to change immediately!

Fortunately, I made it through the rest of the job without too much trouble. Morning sickness had begun to rear its ugly head, but I was able to push through and not let it get in the way too much. By Christmas, I was done being a high school chemistry sub…and extremely thankful for it. Jason and I headed home to CT for a refreshing time with family and friends.

why i'm here (kendra)

Well, I’m in my 23^rd week of pregnancy. Jason has been on me to start a blog for months now and I’ve finally decided to give in. I guess I have a lot of catching up to do. The plan is for this to be a joint effort, but Jason already has two blogs to keep up with so I'll probably be doing a bit more of the posting.

Pregnancy has been an interesting experience for me so far. It all started back at the end of November (well, technically the pregnancy started sooner, but you don’t need to hear about that) when I began to suspect that I was pregnant. We were in Vegas for Thanksgiving with J’s family and by the end of the trip, I was becoming more and more convinced that I was pregnant. On our way back into Boulder, we stopped and picked up an at-home pregnancy test and sure enough, it was positive! Even though I kinda already knew, the reality of it still took me by surprise. Since it wasn’t exactly in our plans for the time being, it was a little hard to swallow at first. There was some excitement, but it was mixed with a good bit of fear and shock as well. It took me a while to settle down and fall asleep that night. We definitely had some big changes ahead of us!