two months old

Dear Lilah,

You are two months old today!  You have had a very exciting second month.  You got to meet your MorMor and MorFar...

your Aunt Carrie (and Uncle Mark, but photos of him are hard to come by)...

and your cousins Nathaniel and Sebastian...

 

You got to wear cute outfits...

experience your first major snowstorm...

and go to Stout Month at the Vine Street Pub for the first time.

You also warmed up to your bouncy seat.  You'll actually stay in there happily for more than a couple of minutes now!  I think it was the hippo that won you over.  You would just stare at him and smile.  And now you'll even bat at him.

Speaking of smiles, that's my favorite new thing that you picked up this month.  It can be hard to catch them on camera, but you are a pretty smiley little girl.  It warms my heart and brightens my days. 

I feel like we figured out a lot this month (not that I have you all figured out, but it has gotten better).  You sleep pretty well at night.  You'll wake up to eat, but you usually get right back to sleep after.  And some nights, you only wake up once in the middle of the night and not again until 6 or 7am.  Naps are more of a struggle, but we're working on them. 

Here are a few more pictures, just because you're so cute...

You are such a joy, Lilah Jane.  I am so thankful to be your mama.

Love and snuggles,

Mama

one month old

Dear Lilah,

Today you are one month old.  You feel like such a part of our family already that it sometimes seems like you've been here much longer than that.  But at the same time, I can't believe it's already been a month!

The past few weeks have been somewhat of a roller coaster ride.  We are still trying to figure you out.  We all came down with colds after you were born...even you!  That interfered some with your sleep so it has been difficult to figure out what is "normal" for you.

One thing that we do know is that you really like being held.  You'd rather fall asleep in someones arms than anywhere else.  And you prefer sleeping in our bed over your bassinet.  But we're not really letting you do that anymore...at least not all night long.  When it comes to napping in our arms, I'm torn.  Part of me just wants to go ahead and hold you and enjoy you.  And part of me realizes that it is neither practical nor very fair to your brother for you to sleep in my arms for every single nap. So we're still working on that.

Speaking of your brother, he is one of your biggest fans.  He does complain on occasion about you crying, but he saves some of his sweetest snuggles for you.  And he's already got your back.  When we had friends come to meet you not long after you were born, he made sure that they understood that you were staying with us.  When one friend was leaving, he pointed at you and said, "That's ours."  And when other friends were leaving, he said, "You have to leave her here."  Nice to know that he's already looking out for you.

You are beautiful, my baby girl.  I can't believe you're mine.  I love you with all my heart and am excited to watch you grow and change in this first year of your life.

Love,
Your mama

Lilah's birth story

As I think about Lilah's birth story, I often find myself comparing it to Caleb's.  Going into her birth, I had hoped for an experience that was in some ways similar, but in many ways different from Caleb's.  Caleb's birth was everything I'd hoped in terms of it being natural and having no complications.  However, it wasn't exactly a positive experience for me.  In fact, it was somewhat traumatic.  When Caleb was born, I felt little joy.  All I could think was, "I'm SO glad that is over!"  The labor had sort of taken over me.  I felt out of control...like it was all just happening to me and there wasn't much I could do but persevere through it.  I am a determined kind of person...I don't really know how to give up.  So I did it naturally as I'd planned and I survived it, but there was nothing positive about it.  This time, I wanted that to be different.  We'd read a book called The Joy of Natural Childbirth and I was hoping to apply some of the things I'd learned from it to have a more joyful childbirth experience.  Here's how it all went down...

On December 12th, at around 9pm, my contractions began.  I labored at home through the night, in bed but not getting a whole lot of sleep.  It was strangely reminiscent of my first labor. 

We planned to have Lilah at the Mountain Midwifery birth center, Colorado's only freestanding birth center, located about 30 minutes from where we now live.  I'd had my 40 week appointment scheduled for the morning of the 13th, at 8:50am.  So I'd decided to just go in for that appointment and see what the midwife thought about whether I should head over to the birth center.  By the time we were heading there, my contractions were fairly regular, about every 5-6 minutes.  At my appointment, the midwife said that we were welcome to head over to the birth center and get settled in a room, which we decided to do.  I chose the "log room," the largest of the three rooms.  We got our things out of the car and headed quickly back to the room.  I was already having to really focus during contractions, and things continued to progress steadily.

My labor experience was already much different this time.  I felt much more in control.  I actually had something to help me through the contractions instead of just trying to endure them.  I was much more present this time.  I actually heard the music playing on my ipod.  As I look back, I can remember pretty much everything, which was not the case with my first labor...it had all been a blur.  Jason was a huge help.  I didn't want him to leave my side for a second.

After a while, the midwife asked if I wanted to get in the tub.  I was a little afraid to mess with what was working, but I was doing a lot of standing and walking around and my legs were pretty tired.  So I decided to give the tub a shot.  I didn't know how much longer I had, but I was thinking I would probably have the baby in there when the time came anyway.  So I got in and spent the rest of my labor there.  I don't know how long I pushed.  It wasn't as long as I had with Caleb, but longer than I would have liked.  Still, it was so nice to get to that point and know that I was almost done...that my baby would be there soon.  And at 1:46pm, there she was!  She was born in the water and immediately brought to my chest.  I was overjoyed to be holding her in my arms.  I was definitely thankful that the labor was over, but I was able to truly treasure the gift that the labor had brought.

Lilah and I got out of the tub and got settled in bed.  She didn't leave my chest for over an hour.  Jason cut the cord after about an hour.  I really wasn't paying attention to the time at all, but at some point I got to take an herbal bath that the nurse had prepared for me.  I relaxed in there for a while and Jason got to spend some time bonding with his new baby girl.  After the bath, I got dressed and we got ready to head home.  It took us a little while to get everything packed up, but at 6:something, we were in the car and ready to go.  As we drove home, I marveled at how different I felt compared to several hours after Caleb's birth.  There was no way I'd be in the car heading home that soon after Caleb was born.  It also occurred to me as we drove that we'd been heading to the birth center that morning at around the same time Jason would be heading to work.  And we were heading home at about the same time Jason would be heading home from work.  But instead of a typical day of work, we'd gone and had a baby in that time.  Pretty crazy.

As we arrived home to introduce Lilah to her big brother, I was tired, but filled with joy.  So very different this time around.  That morning I had left the house with a baby in my belly.  That evening, we were back at home as a family of four, ready to start a new adventure.

Introducing...

Lilah Jane Fraze

Born on December 13, 2011 at 1:46pm

Weight: 6 lbs 14.5 oz 

Length: 18.5 in 

O Christmas tree

This year we decided to try something new...we bought a permit to cut down a tree in the National Forest. So on Saturday morning, although we woke up to cold, snowy weather, we ventured out to find our tree!  We knew that we'd end up with a tree a little more Charlie Brown-esque than if we went to a tree farm, but this was more fun...

 Cutting down our tree...

All ready to go!

Our tree's new home...

Decorating away...

Tada!

maternity photo shoot

Thanks Sarah Rush Photography!

my little goofball

didn't think I'd ever blog again, did you?

It has been a REALLY long time since I last blogged. I have thought about just skipping the lost time and starting fresh.  But I feel guilty about missing all of the time that I did and couldn't bring myself to do that.  So instead I'm going to try to play catch-up.  I've been working on it for a little while now and hope to bombard the blog with old posts in the next couple of weeks.  They may not be as interesting or thorough as they would have been if I'd done them sooner, but at least I'll have the memories all in one spot.  Oh, and I'm going to date them around when they actually happened, so if you're interested in reading them, you might have to look back to find them.  Enjoy!

caleb's new room!

We finally finished Caleb's new room...at least enough to move him in there.  We're still waiting on his dresser, which got damaged during shipping and had to be reordered.  We haven't put up the wall decals because it's harder to find time to do that now that he's moved in there already.  And I'd like to get a new lamp.  Anyway, here's a photo of its current state.  I'll try to post more once it's all done.

Caleb has done very well transitioning to sleeping in his new bed at night.  Nap time is an entirely different story.  One that I'd rather not go into at the moment.  Hopefully in the next couple of months, he will be able to settle back into a routine now that we've made it through all of the big changes in the past few months.  Then we'll see what happens when the next big change comes along...

fall fun 2011

Last fall, I remember mourning the summer...not wanting it to end because I hadn't gotten to enjoy enough of the fun stuff that summer brings.  But this year has been different.  I've been loving fall!  I think that part of the reason is that we're actually getting a decent fall this year.  Sometimes around here it seems like summer lingers and then goes straight to winter.  But not this year.  I've been really enjoying the fall weather and the beautiful trees.

I've also been aware that the time I have left when it's just Caleb and me on the weekdays is running low.  So we've been trying to fit in some fun things before it gets more complicated to do them.

At the end of September, we drove up to Longmont and went to Sunflower Farm.  It's a super fun place for kids with all sorts of things to do like play in tree forts, feed animals, climb on tractors, swing on tire swings, play in sandboxes, ride bikes, and lots more!  I have too many fun photos from the couple of hours we spent there to fit in a collage so here's a little slideshow...

A couple of weeks ago, we went to the Children's Museum.  Unfortunately, I didn't have my camera with me because I really wanted it when Caleb was all decked out in firefighter gear and driving the fire engine.

Just today, we went to the Denver Zoo.  Caleb had such a blast with his buddy Zeb.  And I remembered the camera...

mini golf

After we got back from Costa Rica, we thought it would be nice to do something special with Caleb.  So we took him to play mini golf for the first time.  He loved it!  Here's my little golfer in action...

 

And here's how he felt about leaving...

Costa Rica trip

Jason and I have taken anniversary trips each year since we got married.  Usually by ourselves, although we did bring Caleb with us the year he was born since he was only a few months old.  Most of them have just been long weekends and for the first three trips, we stayed in CO.  For our fourth anniversary, we ventured out of the state and went to Taos, New Mexico.  But we decided that maybe every five years, we could try to do something bigger.  So this year, we actually left the country (for the first time together) and went to Costa Rica!

We were gone for a full week (including travel days).  It was the longest we'd ever been away from Caleb.  Jason's parents kindly took on the somewhat daunting task of watching him the entire time we were gone.  He had a great time with them, and we enjoyed the peace and quiet.  We missed him, of course, but also appreciated the freedom of traveling just the two of us.  And I slept like a rock most of the trip, not having to worry about whether he was going to need me in the middle of the night.

We had an amazing time.  We stayed at a really nice boutique hotel in Manuel Antonio.  The hotel was located on its own nature reserve so we were surrounded by rainforest, but not a far drive from the beach.  We got to go to the nearby National Park, spend some time at the beach, eat delicious food, go on a mangrove boat tour, and just relax at the hotel.  Jason took LOTS of pictures.  We tried to pare them down, but there are still quite a few.  Enjoy!

caleb's first day of preschool

Caleb started preschool at the end of August.  The week before, we went to an orientation at his school and he liked it so much that he kept asking when he was going to get to go back.  So the morning of his first day, he was pretty excited.  And, except for one short phase, he's never had much trouble with us leaving him so I wasn't too worried about how he'd do.

What I wasn't expecting was that I would get emotional about it myself!  I've never really been the type to mourn each passing milestone and wish my kid would stay a certain age forever.  But I have to admit that when I was packing his lunch the night before his first day of school, it was a little tough.  Granted, I'm pregnant...so perhaps I can chalk up some of my emotion to that.  But really I just think it was more difficult for me than I expected it to be.

I was a little sad dropping him off on his first day, but once I got involved in doing the things I planned on getting done, I definitely enjoyed the time to myself.  And when I picked Caleb up four hours later, he seemed to have had a great time.  Here are a few pictures of our big boy ready to embark on a new adventure!

CT trip

In August, we took a family trip to CT to visit my family and friends there.  Since my parents are living in NC now, we don't make it to CT as often so it had been almost two years since our last visit!  It was wonderful to be able to spend a little time catching up with relatives and friends.  Some of them hadn't met Caleb at all, and many others hadn't seen him since he was about 14 months.  But it didn't bother him one bit...he just tried to get everyone he met to play with him.

We were able to plan the trip so that I could be at a bridal shower for a good friend of mine who is getting married in October.  So I even got to see more of my friends than I otherwise would have.  And we got to get all of our kiddos together for the first time...

We also got to spend some time with my dad's side of the family and see my grandmother for the first time in almost two years.  And then we got to see everyone on my mom's side of the family.  Caleb had lots of fun with my aunts and uncles and cousins and his second cousins.  And we really enjoyed getting to visit with everyone.  It was a week well spent!

Here's a slideshow of family pics (they are mostly of my mom's side...apparently I mostly took pictures of kids):

It's a...

GIRL!!!  When I was pregnant with Caleb, we didn't find out in advance that we were having a boy.  I really liked not finding out.  But for some reason I felt differently this time.  I was more curious.  The first time around, it was just Jason and I having a baby.  It didn't really matter at all if it was going to be a boy or a girl.  This time, it seems different.  It isn't just the two of us anymore.  Now we are adding to our family.  I wanted to know if Caleb was going to have a little brother or a little sister.

And I'll admit, the idea of another boy was a bit more appealing to me.  Maybe it's mostly because I feel like I've learned the ropes with boys a bit.  I can do boy.  Now I have to learn how to do girl too.  Maybe it's because I thought it would be fun for Caleb to have a little brother.  Maybe it's partly because I'm not really a huge fan of pink or of baby girl clothes in general.  I'm the rare breed that usually finds baby boy clothes cuter.  And girl names are so much harder for us to figure out than boy names.  When Caleb was born, we had two boy names to choose from and no girl names.  Good thing he was a boy!

Despite all of that, I'm sure I'll love having a girl.  I know that once she's here and as she grows, I will never have wanted it any other way.  And Jason is definitely excited.  Which is one of the biggest reasons I look forward to a girl...I'm excited to watch Jason be a daddy to a girl.

I was also excited to tell my parents.  My dad in particular has been pushing for a granddaughter ever since I was pregnant with Caleb.  He already had one grandson, so it was time for a granddaughter, right?  Since then he's gotten two more grandsons instead.  So it was fun to tell my parents that I had their first granddaughter in my belly!

Most of the time when I tell people that I'm having a girl, their response is something along the lines of, "Awww...how nice...one of each!"  I find that response kind of funny.  Is it part of the American Dream or something?  Two kids...one of each gender?  I'm sure that some just know that being able to experience both sons and daughters is a special thing.  And I feel blessed to be able to have that experience.  Plus I hear that baby girls tend to be easier...it's the teenage years that are harder.  I could definitely deal with easier at the start...it's the down-the-road part that makes me a little nervous!  But it's probably a little early to be thinking about that...